


Keyblade Master Pines

by PoH



Category: Gravity Falls, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crossover, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9175600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoH/pseuds/PoH
Summary: Yen Sid agreed to help Lea learn how to use a Keyblade and said he would send him to a mysterious place to get proper training.  But when Lea gets sent to Gravity Falls by accident, there's no one there to tell him that he's in the wrong place, or that Mabel Pines is definitely NOT the Keyblade Master that she's claiming to be...





	

Yen Sid, the legendary former Keyblade Master, the mentor to King Mickey who had taught the mouse everything he knew about wielding, who had advised many fellow Keyblade wielders throughout their training, the first person to realize that Master Xehanort had fallen to the dark side, and the most competent sorcerer in the Realm of Light… 

…had made a terrible mistake. 

It took him hours to realize that anything had gone wrong. Between overseeing Sora and Riku’s Mark of Mastery exam, worrying over how Xehanort might sabotage it, and failing to get a good night’s sleep for the past three weeks, the great wizard’s mind wasn’t at its sharpest point.

Perhaps he should not have tried to perform such a complicated transportation spell, but he did. Thus, the mistake occurred.

Lea didn’t know that anything had gone wrong either. Master Yen Sid only told him that he would go to a special place where time and space froze, so that he would have enough time to train before he went off to save Sora and Riku from Xehanort, or whatever other nonsense they’d gotten themselves into this time. He didn’t know what the special place was supposed to look like or who was supposed to be training him in how to wield a Keyblade.

His surroundings didn’t raise any suspicions either. He’d landed at the edge of a forest in front of a broken-down, wooden building that claimed to be the center of all things weird, mysterious, and unexplainable: “THE MYSTERY SHACK!” It reminded Lea of one of those cheesy “Magical Houses of Mystery” that he used to see crop up at summer carnivals in Radiant Garden. _But hey_ , he thought to himself, _That’s probably just a cover. Whoever owns this shack has to make it look really fake so nobody notices the actual magic going on behind-the-scenes- like training Keyblade wielders._

He walked past a large hole, labeled “the Bottomless Pit,” stepped around a goat chewing on some flyers advertising the Mystery Shack, and headed up the creaky steps to knock on the door.

“Uh…hi! Can I help you?” a voice called out behind him. Lea turned to face a boy that barely came up to his waist, who held a thick red book. It looked like it had some kind of handprint on the cover, but he couldn’t see the full picture past the boy’s arms.

Lea shrugged. “Who runs this place?”

“My great-uncle Stan. You’re new in town, aren’t you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” The boy tucked his book under his left arm and adjusted the brim of the blue baseball cap he wore on his head.

“Bingo. I got sent here by a guy named Master Yen Sid- does that ring any bells?” Lea asked.

The boy frowned and tapped his foot. “Master Yen Sid…nope, sorry. Maybe Grunkle Stan knows who he is. Want me to go find him for you?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking that’s who I need to see.” Lea hesitated for a moment, but then decided to go ahead and ask, just to confirm that he’d found the right place before this kid went off attracting more attention to him. “I got sent here to learn how to wield the Keyblade. You know anything about that?”

The boy’s eyes bugged out. “What?! You’re a Keyblade wielder? A _real one?_ Aw, _dude_ , of course I know what a Keyblade wielder is! I’ve been reading all about you guys!” He pulled the book out from under his arm again and started flipping through the pages eagerly. “Did you come here to stop Heartless from coming to Gravity Falls? Do you know anything about Gravity Falls? ‘Cause…”

“Hold up,” said Lea, “I’m not a Keyblade wielder yet. I told you, I’m here to learn how to wield one. It’s a long story.”

Before he could continue speaking, he heard a loud gasp coming from the house, somewhere above his head. “That’s probably my sister. She does that sometimes. You can just ignore her,” said the boy. 

“Yeah, well, anyway, I was told that I could find somebody hear who would teach me how to wield the Keyblade. Is that your…uh…what was that again? Grun-kle Stan?”

“Yep, Grunkle Stan, but I’m not sure if he’s the right guy anymore. He doesn’t believe in supernatural stuff like Keyblades,” said the boy thoughtfully. Then his eager smile came back. “But _I_ do! I’m Dipper Pines, and I’ll be happy to help you with whatever you need…”

The door suddenly opened behind Lea with a loud BANG. A girl, the exact same height as Dipper, leaned against the frame and played with a strand of her thick brown hair. “ _Hel-lo_ , handsome!” she greeted Lea with a huge, toothy grin. “Did I hear that right? Are you here to learn how to wield the Keyblade?”

Lea just stared at her for a moment, taking in her big, sparkly sweater of a purple unicorn dramatically pointing at something and shouting, “OBJECTION!” in equally sparkly letters. She didn’t exactly match his idea of what a friend of Master Yen Sid should look like. “…yes?” he finally answered, folding his arms over his chest, “And now you’re gonna try to convince me that you’re the one I’m supposed to meet?”

“That’s right!”

“ _What?_ Mabel, don’t…”

“Quiet, Dipper! I’m trying to talk to my new pupil!” Mabel flashed Lea another big smile and winked at him.

_Oh boy…_ Lea rubbed his forehead and said, “Oh yeah? So if you’re the one who’s supposed to train me, answer this: who is Yen Sid and what does he look like?”

“Yen Sid? Oh, he’s an old pal of mine! We go _way_ back!” Mabel assured him with an over-the-top wave of her hand. “And that’s easy! He’s an old man with a really long beard, and he wears robes and a tall pointy hat with stars on it! Because he knows he’s a STAR!”

Lea blinked. How had she known that? _No…she can’t be the one…can she? IS she?!_

“So, my handsome hero wannabe, are you ready to start your training?” asked Mabel, winking at him again. 

“Uh…” Lea took a step backward. _No, this can’t be right. How does Yen Sid expect this girl to train me? She’s just a little kid, she’s gotta be younger than Sora!_ But the thought of Sora reminded him of someone else. _If I don’t go through with this, I’ll never be able to find Roxas or Isa._ “Oh, the things I do for you idiots,” he grumbled under his breath. To Mabel, he added, “All right. I’m in. Where do we start?”

“YAAAAAAAAAY!!!” Mabel started jumping up and down, grabbed his hand, and pulled him inside the Mystery Shack, still jumping up and down. “This is going to be so much fun! Just step through this doorway, my young Padawan, and soon, I will reveal all you need to know about how to wield the Keyblade of your dreams!”

“ _Mabel!_ Can I talk to you outside? _Right now?_ ” asked Dipper, glaring at her.

“Sure thing, brother of mine! Just sit right over here, my young Padawan…”

“I’m older than you,” Lea pointed out.

“Technicalities! Just sit right over here in Grunkle Stan’s armchair and watch some TV while I talk to my twin brother! I’ll be back in a second!” She dashed outside with Dipper in tow.

As soon as the twins reached the Bottomless Pit, Dipper said, “Okay, first of all, how did you know what that guy’s friend looked like?” 

“That was easy, Dipper! All wizards have really long beards and wear pointy hats with stars on their heads!” explained Mabel cheerfully.

“He never said that guy was a wizard!”

“He said the guy’s name was Yen Sid. That’s a very wizard-y name!”

“Okay, whatever. That’s not the point. How do you expect to train this guy? You don’t even know what a Keyblade is!” 

“Which is where _this_ will come in handy!” replied Mabel, snatching the red book out of her brother’s hands. “Thanks for letting me borrow it, Dipper! You’re the best!”

“I didn’t let you- _come back with that!_ ” Dipper shouted, chasing after his twin, but she was already back inside the house. “Oh, boy, this isn’t going to end well,” he said to himself.

* * *

 Mabel checked to make sure that Lea was engrossed in the latest episode of _Ducktective_ before racing upstairs to call her friends. “Candy? It’s me, Mabel! We have _a major hot guy alert at the Mystery Shack!_ Call Grenda and get over here ASAP!” Once that was taken care of, she ran back downstairs and found Lea waiting for her at the bottom.

“What were you doing?” he asked her.

“Nothing! Just getting ready for your training! Go back to watching _Ducktective_ while I get your first exercise ready.”

“Look, I don’t really have time to watch _Ducktective._ I need to start my training right now.”

“Patience, my young Padawan! If you don’t want to watch TV, go sit in Grunkle Stan’s chair and meditate.”

That _did_ sound like a good idea to Lea. Not that he wanted to meditate, but at least it sounded like an authentic training exercise. He could hear Mabel running all over the house, opening doors, slamming doors, dumping things out of boxes or drawers, singing a song about acting “cray cray,” whatever _that_ meant, and…

“All done! You can open your eyes!” 

Lea did so and saw that within the brief timespan that he’d spent “meditating,” Mabel Pines had changed out of her unicorn sweater into another sparkly sweater that informed him: “I am the Master of CUTE!” “Rise, my young Padawan!” she commanded.

“I don’t know what a Padawan is, but I am definitely not younger than you. Stop calling me that,” said Lea.

“Judge me by my size, do you?” asked Mabel with a sly grin.

“How old are you?”

“Twelve.”

“I’m twenty-five. So yeah, I am judging you. Now show me how to summon the Keyblade.” Internally, he thought, _Twelve?! TWELVE? When was old Yen Sid planning to tell me that I’d be getting trained by a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD?!? How is that possible?! This has to be a mistake. But what if it’s not a mistake? Maybe this whole thing’s a secret test of my endurance…_

Mabel clapped her hands together and started jumping up and down again. “Yes! Follow me! TO THE FIRST CHALLENGE!”

“Challenge…?” Lea groaned as she dragged him into an empty room- empty of everything but hundred and hundreds of keys that she had scattered all over the floor. House keys, car keys, one with a label on it that said, “DO NOT LOSE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES,” big keys, small keys, golden keys, rusted keys, a key shaped like a question mark, and a big, pink, plastic one with a handle shaped like a heart, which had “The Key to My Heart!” engraved on the hilt.

Before Lea knew what was happening, Mabel had pushed him inside and slammed the door. “Hey!” He grabbed the knob, but then he heard a _click_ outside. The door didn’t move, no matter how much he pulled and pushed at it. “Let me out! What are you doing?”

“As a future Keyblade Master, your first challenge is to unlock the door!” commanded Mabel from the other side of the wall.

“But I don’t have a Keyblade yet...” Lea stopped and stared at the keys on the floor. Their purpose started to dawn on him and he slapped a hand against his forehead. “Oh. No. You have _got_ to be kidding me!”

“If you have the skills of a Keyblade Master, you will be able to sense the key to the door! So find the right key and unlock it!”

“ _No!_ Open the door and show me how to summon the real Key!” shouted Lea, pulling on the door in vain. 

“Those _are_ real keys!”

“You know what I mean! Didn’t Yen Sid tell you that this is kind of an emergency? I need to learn right now!”

“You _are_ learning, my young Padawan! Find the right key and we’ll move on to the next exercise!” replied Mabel cheerfully.

“I swear, if you call me that one more time…” Lea grumbled to himself. With no other options beyond burning the door down, he started sifting through the keys. He figured he could rule out the big pink one.

Meanwhile, Mabel leaned against her side of the door with a smug smile and waited for Candy and Grenda to show up.   By the time they did, Lea still couldn’t find the right key. “Where is he, Mabel?” asked Candy, as the two friends giggled and held back squeals of excitement.

“I got an engagement ring! You think it’s too early for that?” asked Grenda.

“We’ll save it for the end, as a reward for successfully finishing his training!” Mabel decided.

“Wait a minute!” Lea called from inside the room. “I just thought of something. What did you use to lock this room?”

Mabel and her friends glanced down at her hands…where she held the key to the room.

“Whoops.”

Lea was not amused by this turn of events, but his trainer proudly patted him on the back. “Way to go, Lea! You used critical thinking to find the truth! That’s very important for a Keyblade wielder.” 

“Yay me,” Lea replied with no enthusiasm whatsoever, “And who are these two supposed to be?”

“These are my _lovely_ assistants, Candy and Grenda! Take a bow, ladies!”

“…and how old are they?” _This is definitely a mistake_ , he thought wearily, _There’s no way these kids are the powerful masters Yen Sid wanted me to learn from…_

“Old enough to know when I’ve met the man of my dreams!” replied Candy with a happy sigh.

“Whoa, back off, sister, he’s mine!” shouted Grenda.

“But Mabel called me first!” protested Candy.

“ _It doesn’t matter!_ ” Lea shouted over their argument, “This isn’t what I signed up for. Goodbye.”

“But if you don’t train with us, you’ll never get a Keyblade!” cried Mabel.

“Yeah, well, you guys are obviously NOT Keyblade trainers.”

“Well, YOU are obviously not a Keyblade wielder if you can’t make it through one little hour of training!”

“Yeah, show your master some respect!” said Grenda.

Lea ignored them and walked out. Just before he got to the front door, he heard Mabel call to him: “This is gonna be on your permanent record! I’m gonna tell Yen Sid about this and he’ll be very disappointed in you!” That made him pause. _That’s right, I forgot, somehow she DOES know Yen Sid…_

He wished he’d actually paid attention when Yen Sid explained how the Keyblade training would work. Then he’d know for sure if he’d found the right place or not. 

The girls caught up to him as he stood in the doorway, reminiscing about all of the fun times he’d had with Roxas on the clock tower and trying to determine if going through this nonsense would be worth it or not. “Okay,” he finally told them with a heavy sigh, “What’s the next step?” The girls squealed and slapped each other high-fives. “And let’s get something clear right now: I’m here to train with you, not marry you.  That is _not_ changing. Got it memorized?”

“Yes, sir!” they replied in unison, though they giggled so much that he had serious doubts about their sincerity.

“Okay, the next stage will be…TRUST EXERCISES!” exclaimed Mabel.

“What.”

“If you want your Keyblade to come to you, you must get it to trust you!”

Lea rolled his eyes. “It’s a _weapon_ , not a _pet._ ”

“You’ll never get a Keyblade with that attitude, mister! Now, sit and meditate again while me and the girls get your next exercise ready!” Mabel commanded.

Lea did sit down, closed his eyes, and begged his Keyblade to come to him _right now._ Why couldn’t it come to him? Roxas hadn’t gone through this kind of grief; oh no, _Roxas’_ Keyblade came to him without any effort whatsoever. At least he would never find out about any of this…and then Lea remembered that Mabel and Yen Sid were friends, which meant she might come to the tower to visit him and tell everyone there all about how Lea’s training went…

“Open your eyes! Time to earn your Keyblade’s trust!” called Mabel in a sing-song voice.

_YOU still haven’t earned MY trust, so I don’t see how this is gonna work_ , thought Lea as he glared at the girls. “Before we continue, I have one more rule. What happens in Keyblade training _stays_ in Keyblade training. Got it memorized?”

“Of _course!_ A Keyblade wielder’s training is a top-secret session between master and student! Everyone knows _that_ , Lea!” Mabel laughed. “Now, put this on!” She held up some kind of purple backpack with a big pouch in the front.

“Why? What is that?”

“It’s a pig carrier, silly! You’re going to pig-sit Waddles for the whole afternoon!” With that said, she held up a small, pink pig that he hadn’t noticed sitting in the doorway. “If you can take care of my most favorite pet pig in the whole world, I know I can trust you with a Keyblade too!”

“How the…I’m not…” Lea took a deep breath. “Fine, but I’m not wearing that purple thing.”

“It’s a pig carrier and you have to wear it! It’s the only way you can keep Waddles safe with you at all times!” 

Lea glanced at the pig, which hadn’t budged from where it sat. “I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem. Just trust me on this. Isn’t that what this whole trust exercise thing is supposed to be about?”

“Either wear the carrier or flunk Keyblade School.”

Dipper chose this moment to poke his head into the room. “Mabel, _do not_ make him wear the pig carrier.”

“Hey! Stay out of this, Dipper! You’re not an official Keyblade trainer!”

“I don’t have to be. Look at it; it’s not even going to fit him.” 

Mabel held it up to Lea’s chest and nodded. “Huh. Okay, you were right about that. We’ll just have to move on to Stage 3!”

“So what you’re saying is, the Trust Exercises weren’t really _that_ important?” asked Lea, folding his arms.

“Honestly, the fact that you’ve stuck around this long shows that you’re more trusting than 90% of the rest of the people who come into contact with us,” replied Dipper.

“More like 85%,” said Mabel, “Okay, Lea, close your eyes again! You are about to enter the most important stage in your training!” 

“I actually get a Keyblade?”

“No, no, this is before you get a Keyblade! Close your eyes. Close ‘em!” Mabel commanded.

As soon as Lea did as he was told, he heard the girls giggling hysterically. _Uh-oh,_ he thought. Just before he opened his eyes again to figure out what they planned to do to him, Grenda tackled him, tipping over his chair and pinning his arms down. “What are you DOING?!” he yelled.

“Stage 3: The Heroic Makeover!” Mabel announced triumphantly, “Candy, get the foundation!”

“WHAT?!” Lea shouted.

“Mabel, NO! Are you out of your mind?!” cried Dipper. He moved forward to pull Grenda off of their unfortunate guest.

“Candy, change of plans: grab my brother! I’ll get the foundation!” ordered Mabel.

“GET. OFF. ME,” yelled Lea, as he struggled to free his arms and throw Grenda aside without actually hurting her.

“Mabel, will you leave the poor guy alone? You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” shouted Dipper. He couldn’t do much else to help- Candy had knocked him to the ground by grabbing his legs and she wouldn’t let go.

“Yes, I do! If there’s one thing I know better than anything else in the world, it’s makeovers! Now, hold him still, Grenda!”

“ _I will burn your stupid Mystery Shack to the ground if you don’t let me up RIGHT NOW!_ ”

“Oh, you like fire? Yes…yes, we can work with that…something with flames…” replied Mabel, tapping her forehead, “…aha! I’ve got a new idea and it’ll go _great_ with your hair! Oh, and we’ll need some glitter too!”

“You know what else would look great on him?” added Grenda calmly, as if she wasn’t fighting a person that was twice her size, “Teardrop tattoos!”

“Oooo, you’re right!” squealed Mabel, “Unfortunately, I don’t know how to give people tattoos.”

“That’s okay- just use permanent marker! It’ll be close enough!”

“LET! ME! GO!” screamed Lea, to no avail.

 “It’s okay, Lea, you’ll thank us when it’s over!" insisted Mabel, "We have to make you look fierce and dashing before you go off on your grand adventures!”

* * *

 

About twenty minutes later, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy arrived outside of the Mystery Shack and knocked on the front door. They heard the sound of pounding feet and jumped aside just before Lea came bursting through it, knocking the door off of its hinges. “Oh good! There you are!” exclaimed Mickey, “We are so sorry it took us so long to find you, but Master Yen Sid only just realized…” For a moment, he couldn’t finish his sentence. He’d just gotten a good look at Lea’s face. “…I…he…well…what was I saying?”

“WAK! What happened to _you?!_ ” squawked Donald, “What have you been _doing_ all this time?”

Flames spurted around Lea’s hands as his chakrams appeared, and they trailed all over his body. “Don’t. Ask. _What_ is going on in this world?!”

“Ah, well, you see, you weren’t supposed to come here,” explained Mickey, “Master Yen Sid sent you to the wrong world…but…ah…I see you’ve found ways to keep yourself entertained…”

“Oh yes, I’ve been having a _fabulous_ time,” Lea snarled.

“Why did you do all of that to your face? Did you join a circus here?” demanded Donald.

“Gwarsh, I think he looks fierce and dashing!” said Goofy.

Mabel’s voice cried out from inside the shack, “LEA! WAIT! We haven’t even started Step Four yet! You can’t be a hero without composing an epic ballad of your deeds!”

Lea never heard the rest of her ideas, because he’d already thrown himself headfirst into the portal that Mickey had created to bring him to the correct world. He tumbled into an ethereal room that reminded him of Betwixt and Between, except that images of the many different worlds flashed across the walls and ceiling.

“ _Well!_ ” huffed a nearby voice, “You finally arrived, eh? Even with time frozen, we’ll be hard-pressed to have you ready to wield by the time Yen Sid wants you sent out on your mission!”

“That wasn’t _my_ fault,” Lea grumbled as he got to his feet. The speaker turned out to be Merlin the wizard, whom he recognized from Radiant Garden so many years ago. Three elderly fairies dressed in red, blue, and green fluttered around his head. When they saw his face, they all gasped at once. “I don’t want to hear about it,” he told them.

“But…my dear…your face…have you given yourself _a heroic makeover?_ ” exclaimed the red fairy.

“No, that was the fake Keyblade Master’s fault; she…”

“But this is _wonderful!_ ” said Merlin, “Now we can skip that important step! The young lady you met had excellent instincts!”

“And an excellent taste in makeovers too!” added the green fairy. She and her friends giggled together.

Merlin continued, “What else did she ask you to do? Did she put you through the trust exercises?”

“The… _what?_ ”

“Well, no matter,” the wizard sighed, “I suppose we might as well take you back to the first lesson. Follow me.” Lea did as he was told, flipping his hood up to cover his face in the process. Merlin led him into an adjacent room that looked similar to the first one…except that hundreds and hundreds of keys covered the floor. “Well now, here we are. Trust your instincts and find the right key to this room. Then we’ll know that you have what it takes to locate your own Key.”

“WHAT THE…?”

Lea was too late- the door had slammed in his face.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”


End file.
